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Biblical counseling is not unbiblical by any stretch of the imagination. I would further claim that bringing the Bible to bear on our personal, relational, and situational issues is the most effective way to problem-solve while helping the struggling soul.
All so-called biblical counselors and disciple-makers can share their success stories about what the Lord did while they were coming alongside someone. The counseling/discipleship context is an excellent opportunity to minister to the hurting while calling the wayward to repentance.
The Counseling Window Is a Thing
One of the issues that I have with traditional biblical counseling, defined as one-on-one sessions, outside the local church, is that the Bible does not see these isolated, detached meetings as the best way to care for one another. There are many reasons this is true, but I will point to only one, which is the repentance conundrum.
If a singular session or a season of meetings become the place where a call to repentance needs to happen, those sessions could prove to be a disappointing context for progressive sanctification. In such a context, counseling presumes that God will do a work in the individual, as the counselor administers God’s Word to them.
This worldview also applies to every parent, pastor, friend, husband, wife, employer, and any other relational construct where one person hopes to help another person change.
Many parents cry out in desperation, hoping that someone will “speak some sense into that child.” Husbands and wives come to counseling, expecting a similar outcome for their spouses. And it’s not wrong for them to hope this way, and I commend anyone who cares so much about another person that they would take this kind of action.
Never give up! Don’t become apathetic or cynical about an unchanging person. My singular point here is that if you elevate what you want over what God may have in mind, there could be two problems: the unchanging person and the despairing soul-care provider.
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 2:24-25).
There is hope and expectation when someone needs to change that God will provide the gift of repentance for sanctification to happen. What do you hope will happen with the person you’d like to see change? Are you guarding your heart because you know that the Lord may have something else in mind for you and this person?
It is not possible to know when, if, or how the Lord will intervene in anyone’s life. The problem with counseling or any other singular meeting is that you can put too much hope in that engagement, expecting God to do what He will not do.
I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6).
Repentance is a timing issue: you water and plant while asking the “growth-giver” to bring the needed change. Then you rest while you wait. If you are not experiencing internal peace, then you have your clue that your hope has morphed into a demand that will control you until the person changes.
The Doctrine of Repentance
Fortunately, there is a better way to think about the change process. And there are other contexts where “counseling” (discipleship) can excel because a call to repentance requires more than private meetings typically. Here is a short-list of different types of contexts you can provide for that person you hope will change.
I trust that you can see how caring for someone should be comprehensive, and you should avail yourself to as many means of grace as you can. Bring the full arsenal of the community and contexts to the souls you love and want to see change.
You have the opportunity to cooperate with the Lord by providing many aspects of the Savior’s care to those who need to see and experience Him in practical ways. And just perhaps, the Lord is working on you too.