How can you tell if a man is fulfilling his role as a servant leader? What is the primary thing you are looking for when assessing him? How can you know if he is hitting the “servant leadership” mark? There is a clear way to know.
- His bank account?
- His portfolio?
- His resume?
- His profession?
- His sub-division?
- His friends or business associates?
- His recreational activities?
- His travel schedule?
- His material possessions?
- His personality or crowd gathering ability?
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Though those things can tell you a lot about a man, they are not the best indicators of his abilities if you are talking about Christian leadership. There is a better place to look.
Leadership assessment should be primarily about the “transformational impact” you have had on others. Jesus had virtually nothing as far as what the world counts as success, but the influence He had on others was transformative.
When I am asked to assess a man regarding his leadership ability, the first place I look is his wife. He has affected her more than any other person in his life.
- His wife is the closest person to him.
- He has been physically intimate with her.
- She has experienced him as no one could experience him.
- Like the church reflecting Christlikeness, she reflects, to a degree, the kind of person that he is. He is her primary relational shaping influence.
If the man has been married for five or more years, the impact of his leadership on his wife is well underway. Here are a few excellent assessment questions that will help you understand the quality of his leadership.
- Is she happy, content, at peace, joyful, fulfilled, warm and satisfied?
- Has she been nourished and her growth is visible?
- Is she secure, balanced, logical and fun?
These characteristics are some of the things the Lord is developing in us. And though Christ has not perfected these good things in us, the presence of them is evident.
Our wives are not perfect, but our leadership is shaping them, either for good or for ill. It is impossible for them not to be affected by us. If you are going to evaluate a man for his leadership ability, the best place to go is where he has had the greatest opportunity to impact an individual. For us husbands, it is our wives. That is the manly man test.
Reader Warning: Every Christian wife is responsible for her actions, and she must “grow up in Christ,” sometimes in spite of her husband. The only objective of this piece is to assess how you’re influencing her. This article is not about her failures, whatever they may be, or her responsibility in repenting of those failures. The quickest and easiest trap to fall into is to go “speck fishing” before “dealing with the log” in the eye (Matthew 7:3-5).
Also published on Medium.