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God Does Not Need Us; His Love Is Perfect and Unmanipulated

God Does Not Need Us; His Love Is Perfect and Unmanipulated

Imagine not needing someone to make you happy. There are so many benefits to the non-needy individual; one of them is the perfect freedom to love others without worrying about what they may or may not do. God is like this. He does not need… Continue Reading …

To Be Angry Is to Be a Puppet on a String

To Be Angry Is to Be a Puppet On a String

Angry people are like puppets on strings, always controlled by their cravings—something they cannot get from others. James said it this way, “You desire and cannot have, so you murder.” The mad puppet can’t get what he wants, so he reacts with manipulative anger. The… Continue Reading …

Silent Treatment Is the Sanitized Version of Murder

Silent treatment is the sanitized version of murder

Expressing anger through silence is an all-too-common communication conflict in too many relationships. The silent partner pretends the other person does not exist by ignoring them. Silent treatment sounds horrible enough, but if you place it within James’s framework for anger, what we’re talking about… Continue Reading …

My Husband Does Not Love or Protect Me

My Husband Does Not Love or Protect Me

There are times when we can deceive ourselves into believing we are doing good when we’re not. The deceptions of sin are subtle. Having someone speak into the things we cannot see is vital, which is what I did with Biff and Mable. This mindmap… Continue Reading …

You Can Choose to Be Part of a Christmas Surprise

You Can Choose To Be Part Of a Christmas Surprise

Christmas has never been about glitter, has it? Or bright twinkling lights. It’s about being “the servant of the Lord” and about giving yourself to meet the needs of others. That’s how God did it in Jesus. He gave Himself—a tiny babe, perfect, sinless—to meet… Continue Reading …

How to Separate Well (from Your Spouse)

How to Separate Well (From Your Spouse)

Marital dysfunction and potential separation of a spouse is a horrible experience that happens too often in Christian marriages. Did you know there is a way to separate well and a way to do it badly? Separation and divorce are not what we should do,… Continue Reading …

A Crazy Idea For Sanctification: the Local Church

A Crazy Idea For Sanctification the Local Church (1)

One-to-one interaction is the most efficient way to help another person change. For too many believers, discipleship in a community, in the context of a local church, is not the norm. Favorite books and preachers become our disciplers, which is not God’s best no matter… Continue Reading …

You Must Know This Before You Counsel Anyone

You Must Know This Before You Counsel a Teen

Sometimes stereotypical counseling can get in the way of what you want to do with an individual, especially when the counselee has a preconceived, pessimistic instinct about where you want to go with him. You’ll see this with some teenagers, for example, because they sense… Continue Reading …

A Rattled Confidence during Disappointments Is a Sign It Is from God

Rattled Confidence During Disappointments Is a Sign It Is From God

Trials and disappointment are two unexpected ways the Lord blesses our lives. It’s a challenging way to think, but you know it’s true to the Bible’s narrative. The tension is that in those times in our lives where circumstances mount to such a degree, we… Continue Reading …

How to Overcome Our Most Damaging Response to Frustrating Times

How to Overcome Our Most Damaging Response to Frustrating Times

It’s possible to let your thoughts run to places that are not redemptive during frustrating and disappointing times. We are in those times. The two primary strongholds are fear and anger. Fearfulness captures too many of us in dire situations while others respond angrily at… Continue Reading …