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I’m Angry at God Because He Did Not Help Me

I'm Angry at God Because He Did Not Help Me

A counselor friend asked how you encourage someone when they are angry at God for what happened to them. The lady is mad because Sovereign Lord did not protect her from horrific victimization. He has been meeting with her for weeks and wondered if he… Continue Reading …

It Is Not Remotely Possible to Break God’s Heart

It Is Not Remotely Possible to Break God's Heart

Have you ever heard someone say that something breaks God’s heart? What do you think about when you hear such things? Do you understand the implications of having a God that feels your pain? The doctrine of impassibility holds that God is incapable of suffering.… Continue Reading …

When the Thing That Protects You Becomes Your Prison

When the Thing that Protects You Becomes Your Prison

Some relationships can become so painful that you must retreat while implementing self-protective measures to prevent being hurt again. The unintended consequence is that the strategies for protection can imprison you, which is what happened to Mable. Her husband was harming her so she did… Continue Reading …

An Appeal from a Former Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastor

An Appeal from a Former Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastor

I wrote this piece in 2012 originally. I’m republishing it with a few edits since the sad saga continues to unfold. I was part of Sovereign Grace Ministries from 2003 to 2008, and for four of those years, I served as a pastor. It was… Continue Reading …

Why the Term Emotional Abuse Is Unhelpful and Misleading

Why the Term Emotional Abuse Is Unhelpful and Misleading

Emotional abuse is real and painful. If ongoing, it can have a detrimental effect on your body and soul. Understanding emotional trauma biblically is vital, which is why the term “emotional abuse” is misleading, unhelpful, and sub-biblical. The Bible has a better way of thinking… Continue Reading …

A Tempting Facade for Defense That Further Enslaves the Abused

A Tempting Facade for Defense that Further Enslaves the Abused

Counseling abuse situations is challenging. The temptations to succumb to bad strategies are numerous. One of those is teaching the abused to fake strength to prove to their abuser that gaslighting and manipulation have no power. It’s an attractive facade of a defense that further… Continue Reading …

How to Train Your Flea, or How to Control Others

How To Train Your Flea, Or How To Control Others

Have you ever trained a flea? It’s a simple process. You place a flea or a flock of fleas (not sure if flock is the right word) in a Mason jar and tighten the lid. Next, you leave the flea(s) in the jar for three… Continue Reading …

What Are You to Do When God Does Not Respond Like You Hoped?

What Are You to Do When God Does Not Respond Like You Hoped

Humans were created for worship; it’s part of our ontology—the nature of our being—as determined by our Creator. You will worship something. If you worship the living God in spirit and truth, you will be transformed into His likeness; if you worship any version of… Continue Reading …

Thinking of Yourself as Victim Is One of the Worst Things You Can Do

Thinking of Yourself As Victim Is One of the Worst Things You Can Do001

Daniel Berger and I talked about the word victim and how many biblical counselors are abusing the term, which has led to insufficient care within the biblical counseling movement ranks. Daniel told me the word victim comes from the Latin root vicarious, which means taking… Continue Reading …

God Is Not on Your Side: You’re on His Side, or You’re Not

God Is Not On Your Side_ You're On His Side, or You're Not

Imperfect people steward neither blessings nor trials well. As Martin Luther said, we are curved inward on ourselves, meaning that self-interest rather than God’s glory or others’ good is what generally rules us, causing us to respond poorly to virtually everything that happens to us.… Continue Reading …