Here is a flattened out and slightly edited email from the wife:
My husband moved out a while ago and into the home of another woman that he had been “dating” behind my back. He has filed for divorce because I told him I would not agree to a dissolution of our marriage. It has been a multi-decade battle for us and a long, long story.
I hung on through the years always trying to help him (or so I thought). Now we’re at the end and I don’t think I truly trusted Christ until he left me. Please pray for us. Thank you for your ministry that always directs us back to the sufficiency of Christ.
Caveat – I don’t want you to spend too much time on point #1 below, but mostly to think of it as a cautionary warning for others who are not yet where you are. Your story, as horrible as it is, should be a sober call to many other marriages that are not properly modeling Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:32).
As for you, if you spend too much time thinking about what he has done wrong it could prove to be soul-damaging, while casting you into a ditch of despair (Psalm 42:5). Points 2-8 is where I’d recommend you spend your time.
1 – Hypocrisy: “Everybody likes ‘Raymond’ but he was never real.”
2 – Attitude: “I struggle daily with having the right attitude.”
3 – Sovereignty: The “why” question. “I never thought I’d be in this place.”
Two helpful articles
4 – Awareness: “I have now come to the place of seeing my sin in the marriage.”
5 – Children: “My child still loves him; she does not know what he has done.”
6 – Prayers: “I want to rain fire and brimstone down on them.”
7 – Care: “I need a lot of help.”
8 – Expect: “The good Lord will take care of you.”
Rick Thomas leads a training network for Christians to assist them in becoming more effective soul care providers. RickThomas.Net reaches people around the world through consulting, training, podcasting, writing, counseling, and speaking.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology, and in 1991 he received a BS in Education. In 1993 he was ordained into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University in Santa Clarita, CA. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).