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I spent most of my life searching for something that would fill an empty hole deep inside. I searched far and wide for pleasure in multiple ways like drugs, pornography, and alcohol to fill the void.
I even tried to find father figures who would teach me how to be a man who was respected and was honored by those surrounding me.
After many years of searching with a lack of finding fulfillment, I ended up marrying my high school sweetheart and headed off to college. After several years of marriage, we had children even while the spontaneous partying continued.
One day I woke up and had no desire to live. No hope. No purpose. I didn’t care about marriage, school, work, fatherhood, or even living. That day I had received a phone number to call the Director of the Mission House, Lyle Skillman. I told him that I was a good guy; that things just kept going wrong and I couldn’t get a break.
It was then that Lyle asked me why I was calling him if there was nothing wrong with me but that it was my circumstances that were at fault. I told him, “I just keep following my heart!” He then directed me to Jeremiah 17:9 –
The heart is desperately wicked and deceitful above all else, who can know it?
I told myself,
If this book is right, my life makes sense. This deception is why I’m so miserable. I’ve been following a liar.
The day after I arrived at the Mission House, I gave my life to the Lord. He has led me since! I love Him so much because He first loved me at my worst. I could have never saved myself, and because of what He has done, by the grace of God, I will follow Him all of my days!
My wife, Lisa, and I are now devoted to making disciples and comforting others with the same comforts that we have received. I’m currently perusing my counseling degree and will continue to help the men that God places in front of me. If you would like to talk, please contact me.