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Ep. 419 Your Ex-spouse Has the Kids, and You’re Afraid

Ep. 419 Your Ex-spouse Has the Kids, and You're Afraid

Shows Main Idea – Divorce is an unending complexity. Even those who breathe a sigh of relief because it is over are not immune from the challenges. Suppose you were living through an unwanted divorce, or know someone who is. The ex-spouse has primary custody of the children. What are some key things you would want to know, common mistakes people generally make, and proper responses to your spouse, children, and new lifestyle? Here are a few thoughts for the spouse whose world just turned upside down.

Show Notes

You may want to read:

No More Influence

  • Your ex-spouse can do anything: move across the country, remarry, have other children, change jobs, change the kid’s schools, walk away from the faith, etc.
  • Your children will have a life they did not choose; it will be a more complex life.
    • Don’t make it about you, but the children.
    • Parent the children’s fears
    • Represent Christ to themc

Part-time Parent

  • You will never be a full-time parent because you don’t live with them.
  • You may remarry and have other children.
  • You will have more time with the children if they are younger. Once they grow toward independence, they will build their individual lives.

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Self-reliant Temptations

  • Arguing with your ex-spouse
  • Talking negatively about your ex-spouse
  • Manipulating the children through self-pity
  • Weaponizing them against your ex-spouse
  • Retaliating toward your ex-spouse, overtly or covertly

What to Do

  • Take fearful thoughts captive
  • Regularly repent of sin, i.e., anger
  • Be civil toward your ex-spouse
  • Paint a portrait of Jesus
  • Connect with community

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Call to Action

  1. Please study and reflect on all the resources in these Show Notes.
  2. How are you working through the regret of marriage and divorce?
  3. How are you working through your new lifestyle? What are the most challenging aspects?
  4. Are you connecting and building community, even though you could be too old for the singles and too single for couples?
  5. What are your temptations, e.g., anger, fear, self-pity, porn?
  6. Who’s your mentor, and are you regularly connecting? Share this resource with your mentor, and your responses to the CTA questions.

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