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Ep. 296 Some Practical Advice for Those Struggling with Deep Hurts

Ep. 296 Some Practical Advice for Those Struggling with Deep Hurts

Shows Main Idea – A friend asked me for advice on helping someone who has gone through some deep hurts in her life. The horrific events were patterns, not an isolated episode. When assisting a hurting person, you must marshall many biblical helpers because of the long-term care needed. This episode provides a practical way that our ministry can serve you as you serve the walking wounded.

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Show Notes

You may want to read:

Advantages of Supplemental Friends

If you need assistance in helping a person, I appeal to you to let our ministry serve as a redemptive companion to those within your care. The resources are free, practical, and always available. This episode walks through a few things that I told my friend. These ideas talk about practical assistance, not practical counseling; you are the primary care person, and we are your supplemental helpers.

Good Companions

1 – Discern the Complexity of the Need

2 – Help for Unbelief and the Need for Change

Rick's Books3 – You Must Be Ready to Pivot at a Moment

  • I’m not a big fan of books for these things, in a primary sense, though they can be helpful. I prefer to have the ability to flex to different topics as the need arises.
  • Books keep you on “one track” for a long time and can hinder the need to change (pivot) “conversation tracks” as diverse issues arise.
  • Books can be a helpful “background track” that the person is reading while you’re dealing with assorted issues that arise.
  • Of course, the best book is the Bible, but that’s assuming the person understands it and is not angry with God.
    • Sometimes your “starting place” with a person is not where you prefer.
    • Don’t map your experience over them by assuming too much. They may not be ready for what will help them the most.
  • Articles/podcasts are great for tackling topics and issues, but it also permits you to keep flexing as needed.

4 – Remember the Artificial Counseling Window

  • Keep in view the long-term need she has. So, don’t set any artificial timelines for expectations of her change; it will take years. Thus, being with her for the long haul is vital.
  • If she speaks English, she can talk to us.

5 – Introduce Me to Your Friend

  • You can introduce me by letting her listen to the 4-part podcast series where I provide an autobiographical overview of my life.
  • But do not disqualify yourself by falling into the “I have not had your experience so I can’t help you” trap.

Twelve Universal Assumptions

6 – Give Her Excellent Background Reading

If she does read a book, my Suffering Well would be a useful resource as “background reading” while you’re dealing with various issues.

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