The Danger Of Trying to Be Perfect

RMlogo How to be perfect and the dangers of trying to be

We all know to obey is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22), but that simple piece of biblical advice can create significant problems particularly in those moments when we fail in our obedience.

Listen to the podcast

Our podcasts are on iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, TuneIn, or Stitcher. If you want to comment on this content, go here.

You may want to read:

How many times have you come to the new year resolving to do better? How long did your “doing better” last? Have you ever tried to be obedient all the time, without ever failing?

To be obedient all the time is to be perfect all the time, and that is not possible. So how do you strive for obedience while not succumbing to the trap of perfectionism?

Perhaps you have given up on being perfect. Or maybe you haven’t given up because you’re a striving perfectionist. The kind of obedience the Lord desires from us is complete obedience, which is more than external conformity to religious rules.

The so-called holy people in the New Testament were the Pharisees. They had holiness down to a system. Then Jesus came along and blew up their externalism by calling them out. (Read Matthew 23) It was clear that there was a disconnect between their hearts and their behaviors (Matthew 23:27-28).

Jesus says our obedience must go deeper than the Pharisees. He’s talking about an obedience that transforms the heart.

For I tell you unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. – Matthew 5:20

How much easier would it be if we could only pretend to be holy rather than be holy? This temptation is why you must be careful with your critiques and observations about the Pharisees. To critique them as though you or I are different from them would be misguided. The Pharisees are one of the best reflections in biblical history of who we are and how we struggle.

We can certainly learn from them while hoping not to fall into the traps that had caught them. Here are four of those things we can learn.

  1. Listen to the Word of the Lord.
  2. Know the repercussions of disobedience.
  3. Guard against selective obedience.
  4. Trust the one who is perfect.

Listen To the Word

Our first call to action to keep from falling into the trap of the Pharisees is to listen to the Word of the Lord. There is so much noise in our world that we can be so easily distracted.

Our culture has created a perpetual noise machine that churns out high volumes of anti-God messages day and night. It takes a lot of intentionality and practice to hear the Word of the Lord.

Social media is the culture’s latest buzz perpetuator that distracts us from exercising our minds by the Word of God. This lack of biblical exercise leads to spiritual dullness, which is the warning from the Hebrew writer.

For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. – Hebrews 5:12-14

Without the daily heavy lifting of biblical exercise, our powers of discernment do not become trained to distinguish between good and evil. Social media is one of those current distractions that keep us from this kind of exercise.

Spiritual exertion is required if you want to be perfect (James 1:22). Of course, the rebuttal is that nobody spent more time in God’s Word than the Pharisees, which is right, but I must ask anyway:

  1. Are you a student of God’s Word?
  2. What does your study of God look like during any given week?
  3. Are you being mastered by God’s Word, which is a different question from studying God’s Word? (The Pharisees were students of God’s Word, but it was apparent they were not mastered by it.)
  4. What are specific areas of your life that are being re-shaped by God’s Word?

Repercussions Of Disobedience

Whenever the truth of the Lord is pressed out of our lives, regardless of how it is pressed out, there will be a proportional adverse reaction from the Lord. We learn about this in Romans, where Paul talked about the side-effect that happens to us when we press (or suppress) God’s Word out of our lives. He said it this way:

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. – Romans 1:18

There are unalterable laws in our universe. (1) What goes up must come down. (2) Freedom requires boundaries. (3) Sin equals punishment.

We were not allowed to be part of the divine tribunal when the Trinity established the laws of the universe. The creation–you and me–do not have that kind of privilege when interacting with the Creator (Job 38:4).

Without unalterable laws, our world would be chaotic. We see that in our culture today. The anti-God presuppositions of our culture say we can do anything we want to do and you cannot judge the lawbreakers for their actions.

  • If you want to kill your baby, it is legal.
  • If you want to marry a person of the same sex, you are free to do so.
  • If you don’t like your gender, you’re free to call yourself another sex.

This mess is not how things are supposed to be. Our job should be simple: accept God’s rules, one of which is that if we push His truth out of our lives, there will be an appropriate, wrathful counter response from Him; that is a universal law.

We will never be free as long as we pick and choose how we want to live. None of us can live outside the Lord’s teaching and expect no negative consequences for our transgressions.

While it would be easy to continue this chapter by talking about the atrocities in our culture, it would be a better use of our time to reflect upon how we are similar to our culture’s penchant for suppressing the truth. Here are three examples.

  • The angry parent cannot continue to press God’s truth out of his life and not expect longterm negative consequences on his family.
  • The disrespectful wife cannot continue to press God’s truth out of her life and not expect longterm negative consequences on her marriage.
  • The rebellious child cannot continue to press God’s truth out of his life and not expect longterm negative consequences on his life.

Saul, as an example, pressed the truth out of his life, and because of his disobedience, he experienced wrathful consequences from the Lord (1 Samuel 15:1-35). He made four mistakes.

  1. He did not listen to the Word of the Lord (1 Samuel 15:11).
  2. He partially obeyed the Word of the Lord (1 Samuel 15:13-14, 19).
  3. He blamed his disobedience on others (1 Samuel 15:21).
  4. He did not trust the Lord (1 Samuel 15:22).

How about you?

  1. Is there an area in your life where you are ignoring God’s truth? If so, will you discuss this with a friend?
  2. What have been some of the negative consequences you had experienced when you chose to disobey the Lord?
  3. How have you experienced the favor of the Lord when you were obedient to Him?

Guard Against Selective Obedience

The expectations of the Word of the Lord is deeper and broader than any of us can fully comprehend, which makes it a natural temptation to compare our lists of obedient practices to the lists of other people. Who has not done that?

Though we may deplore legalism, which is a list-keeping, fear-based culture, we can be so easily duped into believing our obedience is better. It is more comfortable to be pleased with ourselves than to be happy with others because of our longing to be right in our own eyes (Proverbs 21:2).

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. – 2 Corinthians 10:12

If we truly understand how we’re no different from the next person when it comes to being imperfect—none of us have arrived—then our hearts should be softened to pity other people rather than comparing ourselves to them as though we’re better than them.

This kind of broken dad, who struggles with anger, will be quicker to address his anger with his son, rather than immediately jumping on his child. The frustrated wife, who is self-righteously comparing herself to her husband, will first repent of her failures—the first step in resolving their marriage problems (James 2:10).

It is a perverted process to disregard your faults (Matthew 7:3-5) while attempting to help restore another person with flaws (Galatians 6:1). Self-aware broken people are the most effective when it comes to restoring other broken people (Luke 18:11).

The filter through which the humble person sees others is through the growing reality that he is the foremost sinner (1 Timothy 1:15).

  1. Have you ever been critiqued by a person who believed you had the log in your eye rather than a speck?
  2. Here is a better question: Have you ever critiqued a person without first filtering your faults through the grid of humility?
  3. How have you seen humble self-awareness bring down God’s favor on your conflict resolution efforts?

Trust the Perfect One

Maybe you have read this far and thought, “Oh my…perfection is hard. I fail in so many areas of my life that I’m discouraged. I can never do this.”

If that is how you’re thinking, you’re in the perfect place. But if you think you need to work harder, you have not arrived at the starting blocks of progressive sanctification. The Pharisees never learned the impossible-ness of perfection. They always tried harder.

I’m not suggesting you disregard anything that I’ve said thus far, but I am suggesting that you calibrate everything that has been noted by the gospel wrench. We should always strive for holiness, but we must strive realistically: We will never be perfect in this life. There are two dangerous ditches you can fall into:

  1. Perfectionism: striving to be perfect on your own.
  2. Passivity: giving up on your pursuit of holiness.

We live in a relationship with the Lord, which means we have a role to play; we’re not fatalistic robots. That role is somewhere between (1) I will never be perfect while living in this body of death and (2) I must cooperate with the Lord as He transforms me into Christlikeness.

One of the benefits and beauties of realizing you can never be perfect is that your hopelessness should point you to a better source to attain perfection.

There was a man who was able to do better than Saul, better than the Pharisees, better than me, and better than you. His name is Jesus. He is the only person who perfectly obeyed the Father in all ways (Mark 1:11).

His gospel works uniquely qualifies Him to step into our place, receive the wrath for our disobedience, become the perfect sacrifice, which gives us access to and relationship with the Father. Jesus chose to do these things for us because none of us can do these things for ourselves.

Our striving for holiness comes after we have gained access to the Father through the works of Christ, not before, as though our practices are a means to gain access to God.

Call to Action

  1. How are you doing at listening to the Word of the Lord?
  2. How are you doing at obeying the Lord?
  3. How are you doing at owning your faults?
  4. How are you doing at trusting the Lord?
Print Friendly, PDF & Email
«                   »
Did this article help you? Are you wrestling with questions about what you read? Please post in our free forum, and one of our team members will be happy to help however we can. You need a free username and password, which gives you access to our free public forum. You will usually hear from our team within 24 hours.