48 Case Studies 47: How Do I Honor My Older Parents?

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Mable and Biff have enjoyed a beautiful relationship during their seven years of marriage. They have two children, ages five and two. However, Mable is facing a challenging situation with her mother, who has been pressuring her to spend more time with her during the week. Mable’s father is passive, and her mother has always been the dominant figure in the home.

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Mable’s current responsibilities are overwhelming. She is homeschooling their five-year-old for the first time, which has been difficult as she navigates the organizational and planning demands. Additionally, Biff’s long work hours mean their family time is inconsistent, so when he is home, Mable prioritizes being with him. To prepare for that time, she focuses on errands, cleaning, laundry, and other tasks.

Her mother insists that Mable is failing to obey and honor her parents, as Scripture commands. Mable is sensitive to God’s will and desires to honor Him, but she feels torn. She doesn’t see how she can fulfill her mother’s expectations while maintaining her priorities of loving her husband, serving her children, and managing the household.

Mable seeks your advice on how to navigate this dilemma biblically, balancing the commands to honor her parents with her responsibilities as a wife and mother.

Case Study Questions

1. What should honoring her mother look like for Mable?
2. Is Mable sinning by not spending time with her mother?
3. When the Bible says, “Children obey your parents,” how does that apply here?
4. How would you counsel Biff and Mable?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).