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When Unforgiveness Lingers, Resentment and Bitterness Enter

When Unforgiveness Lingers, Resentment and Bitterness Enter

Supporter Question: As a full-time elder and pastor for twenty-seven years, I have seen and walked with people through many forms of offenses and relational conflict. Your articles are helpful and needed in the church today. In the following scenario, I wonder if you could… Continue Reading …

Church Discipline: How to Help a Person Get Right with God

Church Discipline How to Help a Person Get Right With God

What do you do when a Christian does not want to restore his relationship with God and others? Fortunately, the Bible does not leave us in the dark about this vital subject. Some people call it church discipline. Others call it church restoration. Both of… Continue Reading …

Humbly Assessing How Our Behaviors May Push Others Away from Christ

Humbly Assessing How Our Behaviors May Push Others Away from Christ

How do your attitudes, words, and actions move people? Our behavior motivates people in one direction or the other. We are pushing people toward Christ or away from Him. We’re not responsible for their choices, but we are vital secondary actors who must always think… Continue Reading …

Understanding Someone Is Hard Work, But the Only Way to Build Well

Understanding Someone Is Hard Work, But the Only Way to Build Well

Understanding the other person in any relationship is foundational to building a life with them. If you don’t know them at a soul level, all your efforts to connect in an in-depth way will fall flat. You will end up as acquaintances, perhaps business partners,… Continue Reading …

Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?

Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?

One of the most tedious and mysterious questions you will ever ponder is the tension between God’s role in our lives and our responsibility to respond to Him. Ultimately, the problem is unanswerable in a satisfying way. But an unresolvable conundrum does not mean we… Continue Reading …

If Your Friend Is Not Changing, Will You Consider This?

If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to think about them and the dynamics of change. In this article, I’m going to break down one of the essential elements in the change process. I hope that the… Continue Reading …

How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can’t Change People

How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can't Change People

The unchanging person is the loving caregiver’s greatest struggle. You love them and want to help them. You pour out your heart for them. But they do not change. Sometimes you push too hard. Other times, you give up. Knowing how to respond to each… Continue Reading …

The Truth about Repentance Is You Can’t Make It Happen

The Truth about Repentance Is You Can't Make It Happen

I have often said, in certain situations, that Biblical counseling is not the best way for sanctification to happen. I’m not throwing Biblical counseling under the bus, but being honest about the change process. Repentance is a gift given, which implies a need to think… Continue Reading …

When You Manipulate Change, You Damage the Relationship

You may have a good desire for someone, but if your methods are manipulative and forceful, you will blow-up the relationship. Each person is different, and you must understand them before you attempt to help them change. Knowing your audience, whether a spouse, child, or… Continue Reading …

I Need Help Counseling a Stubborn Couple

Every discipler knows that they cannot change anyone. This worldview becomes acute when you’re trying to help someone transform. Though you cooperate with the Lord in the “change process,” only He can grant repentance. This case study presents this dilemma with an angry, stubborn couple.… Continue Reading …

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