Free Communication eBook

Understanding Someone Is Hard Work, But the Only Way To Build Well

Understanding Someone Is Hard Work, But the Only Way to Build Well

Understanding the other person in any relationship is foundational to building a life with them. If you don’t know them at a soul level, all your efforts to connect in an in-depth way will fall flat. You will end up as acquaintances, perhaps business partners,… Continue Reading …

Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?

Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?

One of the most tedious and mysterious questions you will ever ponder is the tension between God’s role in our lives and our responsibility to respond to Him. Ultimately, the problem is unanswerable in a satisfying way. But an unresolvable conundrum does not mean we… Continue Reading …

If Your Friend Is Not Changing, Will You Consider This?

If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to think about them and the dynamics of change. In this article, I’m going to break down one of the essential elements in the change process. I hope that the… Continue Reading …

How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can’t Change People

How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can't Change People

The unchanging person is the loving caregiver’s greatest struggle. You love them and want to help them. You pour out your heart for them. But they do not change. Sometimes you push too hard. Other times, you give up. Knowing how to respond to each… Continue Reading …

The Truth about Repentance Is You Can’t Make It Happen

The Truth about Repentance Is You Can't Make It Happen

I have often said, in certain situations, that Biblical counseling is not the best way for sanctification to happen. I’m not throwing Biblical counseling under the bus, but being honest about the change process. Repentance is a gift given, which implies a need to think… Continue Reading …

When You Manipulate Change, You Damage the Relationship

You may have a good desire for someone, but if your methods are manipulative and forceful, you will blow-up the relationship. Each person is different, and you must understand them before you attempt to help them change. Knowing your audience, whether a spouse, child, or… Continue Reading …

I Need Help Counseling a Stubborn Couple

Every discipler knows that they cannot change anyone. This worldview becomes acute when you’re trying to help someone transform. Though you cooperate with the Lord in the “change process,” only He can grant repentance. This case study presents this dilemma with an angry, stubborn couple.… Continue Reading …

Tips On Helping the Person Who Does Not Want Help

Tips On Helping the Person Who Does Not Want Help

Do you have a friend who could use your help? Are there some people in your sphere of influence who are not looking for your help, but you long to speak into their lives? Listen to the podcast You may want to read: How to… Continue Reading …

One Powerful and Practical Way to Give Peace to Someone

The peace of God comes to you in three ways. (1) God gives it to you. (2) You have to think about the right things to have God’s peace. (3) God’s peace will either be helped or hindered by those closest to you. Listen to… Continue Reading …

Ten Things to Know Before You Can Help Someone

Talking about change and willing to change can be two different matters. If you have not prepped your soul for change, you won’t change. You may modify your behavior. You may be able to do damage control with your relationships, but transformation is a gift… Continue Reading …