Free Communication eBook

Practically Navigating the Contours to Help an Abuse Victim

Practically Navigating the Contours to Help an Abuse Victim

Patiently loving the abused while listening to their story to comprehend what happened to and in them is vital. Additionally, you will represent Jesus most effectively if you do not move faster than they can go. Of course, you want them to experience restorative freedom,… Continue Reading …

The Carefulness and Competence Needed When Helping the Abused

Micro and Macro Listening When Helping the Sexually Abused

Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating and complicating sin crimes that someone forces on another human being. Though I don’t fully understand the horror of this type of abuse because it has not happened to me, I’ve sat with many victims of sexual… Continue Reading …

An Appeal from a Former Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastor

An Appeal from a Former Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastor

I wrote this piece in 2012 originally. I’m republishing it with a few edits since the sad saga continues to unfold. I was part of Sovereign Grace Ministries from 2003 to 2008, and for four of those years, I served as a pastor. It was… Continue Reading …

Why the Term Emotional Abuse Is Unhelpful and Misleading

Why the Term Emotional Abuse Is Unhelpful and Misleading

Emotional abuse is real and painful. If ongoing, it can have a detrimental effect on your body and soul. Understanding emotional trauma biblically is vital, which is why the term “emotional abuse” is misleading, unhelpful, and sub-biblical. The Bible has a better way of thinking… Continue Reading …

A Tempting Facade for Defense That Further Enslaves the Abused

A Tempting Facade for Defense that Further Enslaves the Abused

Counseling abuse situations is challenging. The temptations to succumb to bad strategies are numerous. One of those is teaching the abused to fake strength to prove to their abuser that gaslighting and manipulation have no power. It’s an attractive facade of a defense that further… Continue Reading …

Thinking of Yourself as Victim Is One of the Worst Things You Can Do

Thinking of Yourself As Victim Is One of the Worst Things You Can Do001

Daniel Berger and I talked about the word victim and how many biblical counselors are abusing the term, which has led to insufficient care within the biblical counseling movement ranks. Daniel told me the word victim comes from the Latin root vicarious, which means taking… Continue Reading …

God Is Not on Your Side: You’re on His Side, or You’re Not

God Is Not On Your Side_ You're On His Side, or You're Not

Imperfect people steward neither blessings nor trials well. As Martin Luther said, we are curved inward on ourselves, meaning that self-interest rather than God’s glory or others’ good is what generally rules us, causing us to respond poorly to virtually everything that happens to us.… Continue Reading …

How to Know If Your Victimhood Has Become Your Identity

How to Know If Your Victimhood Has Become Your Identity

Being a victim of anything is one of the most challenging circumstances for a hurting soul to negotiate. The journey out of the effects of victimization is long. Some contours will challenge the victim to the broadest expanse of their soul. Their ultimate goal is… Continue Reading …

When the Abuse You See Clouds Biblical Interpretations

When the Abuse You See Clouds Biblical Interpretations

When abuse forms the lens through how you view what is happening in your life or among friends, it may discolor how you interpret and react to those experiences. I’m not suggesting that bad things are not happening to you or your friends, but I… Continue Reading …

Abuse Is Not the Best Way to Talk about the Problem with Abuse

Abuse Is Not the Best Way to Talk about the Problem With Abuse

Whenever we bring words, language, and constructs from the culture and wedge them into a biblical paradigm, things become awkward, and emotions tend to erupt. This problem is what has happened with the word abuse. We grabbed it from the world, with all its accompanying… Continue Reading …

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