I wrote this piece in 2012 originally. I’m republishing it with a few edits since the sad saga continues to unfold. I was part of Sovereign Grace Ministries from 2003 to 2008, and for four of those years, I served as a pastor. It was… Continue Reading …

Emotional abuse is real and painful. If ongoing, it can have a detrimental effect on your body and soul. Understanding emotional trauma biblically is vital, which is why the term “emotional abuse” is misleading, unhelpful, and sub-biblical. The Bible has a better way of thinking… Continue Reading …

Counseling abuse situations is challenging. The temptations to succumb to bad strategies are numerous. One of those is teaching the abused to fake strength to prove to their abuser that gaslighting and manipulation have no power. It’s an attractive facade of a defense that further… Continue Reading …

Daniel Berger and I talked about the word victim and how many biblical counselors are abusing the term, which has led to insufficient care within the biblical counseling movement ranks. Daniel told me the word victim comes from the Latin root vicarious, which means taking… Continue Reading …

Imperfect people steward neither blessings nor trials well. As Martin Luther said, we are curved inward on ourselves, meaning that self-interest rather than God’s glory or others’ good is what generally rules us, causing us to respond poorly to virtually everything that happens to us.… Continue Reading …

Being a victim of anything is one of the most challenging circumstances for a hurting soul to negotiate. The journey out of the effects of victimization is long. Some contours will challenge the victim to the broadest expanse of their soul. Their ultimate goal is… Continue Reading …

When abuse forms the lens through how you view what is happening in your life or among friends, it may discolor how you interpret and react to those experiences. I’m not suggesting that bad things are not happening to you or your friends, but I… Continue Reading …

Whenever we bring words, language, and constructs from the culture and wedge them into a biblical paradigm, things become awkward, and emotions tend to erupt. This problem is what has happened with the word abuse. We grabbed it from the world, with all its accompanying… Continue Reading …

The word abuse has become a catchall phrase with too many Christians. It’s a construct that is full of all sorts of things, and it’s now in danger of losing its worth. When you dilute a subject to include virtually anything, the original meaning is… Continue Reading …

Can you give some clear examples of signs of how a pastor or church leader is crossing the line from being a shepherd to a spiritual abuser? It would be helpful to know when to support a pastor when he is genuinely trying to defend… Continue Reading …