Janet was first sexually abused by a relative when she was 9-years old. The sex crime continued for almost three years. She never told anyone until her 30th birthday, when she revealed to her husband what had happened.
Before telling him, she had convinced herself that there was something wrong with her, which was the only way she could reconcile why anyone would abuse her. As a kid, she assumed all authority figures were right and that there was something wrong with her. How could adults make a mistake about anything, even if it’s sexual abuse?
Janet had to bring an interpretation to what happened to her. She filtered the facts through the lens of her adolescent mind and came to the wrong conclusion. Nobody knew about the abuse, her erroneous interpretations, and how she practically applied the results of the abuse to her life.
One result is that she spent her life trying to prove that she was better than what she believed herself to be. After 20 years of frustrating and exhausting relationships, she gave up and told her husband what was wrong with her.