RickThomas.net 
14Oct
You've been lied to about your marriage

You’ve been lied to about your marriage

You've been lied to about your marriage

I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been lied to.

And, you’re being lied to every day. What’s worse is you probably don’t know the extent it’s happening. But make no mistake, it is happening. Constantly. Every day. And, the lies are coming from multiple sources…

The lies are coming from media, music, news, billboards, social media, and unfortunately from some of our well-meaning friends and even some pastors, just to name a few…

8653462_orig

Click on the table or the link–You’ve Been Lied To to read more…

Print Friendly
Share this Story

About Hans Molegraaf

Since 1997, God has been increasingly using Hans and his wife, Star, in one on one ministry, small group bible studies, and leadership in the area of marriage and family. In 2004 God led them to serve as full time missionaries for the family at Family Life in Little Rock, AR. In 2010, God led and enabled them to start "Marriage Revolution". Marriage Revolution exists to help hurting couples experience lasting change, hope for tomorrow, and intimate joy with God and each other.
  • Kari

    Take out all the crap about god and it would be a decent article. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be great and you don’t have to believe in and worship a magical guy in the sky to have a wonderful marriage.

  • Kari

    Take out all the crap about god and it would be a decent article. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be great and you don’t have to believe in and worship a magical guy in the sky to have a wonderful marriage.

  • connollyseven

    This is a Christian site, so it shouldn’t be too surprising to find mention of the God who created marriage in the first place. Chances are, marriages that are wonderful without God are probably still following many of His “guidelines,” known or not. But they won’t be all they can be. Peace.

  • connollyseven

    This is a Christian site, so it shouldn’t be too surprising to find mention of the God who created marriage in the first place. Chances are, marriages that are wonderful without God are probably still following many of His “guidelines,” known or not. But they won’t be all they can be. Peace.

  • Maceanruig

    “Take out all the crap about god and it would be a decent article. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be great and you don’t have to believe in and worship a magical guy in the sky to have a wonderful marriage.”

    Uh……God is Who wrote the rules……

  • Maceanruig

    “Take out all the crap about god and it would be a decent article. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be great and you don’t have to believe in and worship a magical guy in the sky to have a wonderful marriage.”

    Uh……God is Who wrote the rules……

  • María

    No, if you read some history you will notice that men all across the world (christians, muslims, buddhists and any other religious groups) had practice marriage since thousands of years ago. Every religion has its moral codes that has passed it by from ancestors to nowadays despite the existence of a God.

    But hey.. believe in whatever that makes you feel comfortable and complete. For me the meaning of marriage is all that is written in “the bible says” without all the worshipping and Christ thingy.

  • María

    No, if you read some history you will notice that men all across the world (christians, muslims, buddhists and any other religious groups) had practice marriage since thousands of years ago. Every religion has its moral codes that has passed it by from ancestors to nowadays despite the existence of a God.

    But hey.. believe in whatever that makes you feel comfortable and complete. For me the meaning of marriage is all that is written in “the bible says” without all the worshipping and Christ thingy.

  • DavidSSabb

    Where does the Bible say ANY of those things about marriage?

  • DavidSSabb

    Where does the Bible say ANY of those things about marriage?

  • Jackson Cobb

    Remind me again, which of the thousands of gods throughout history is the one who created marriage?

  • Jackson Cobb

    Remind me again, which of the thousands of gods throughout history is the one who created marriage?

  • Sam

    Then it’s not the complete meaning of marriage. Of course other people had marriages and that doesn’t add anything valuable to the argument. Many nations did various things in different shaped and forms. But it started with one people, more precisely, one couple. You do realize that taking God out of the marriage ecuation means going back to 50/50 and everyone thinking they are more important than the other and trying to get more out of the other. Who will be the great just counseler between the two and where will their continuous sacrificial love come from? After a couple of years the love passion flies away and then what? We cannot grow or manufacture love because we don’t have it. We can make and have good feelings, but love comes from He who declares is the author of love and the example of utmost sacrifice.

  • Sam

    Then it’s not the complete meaning of marriage. Of course other people had marriages and that doesn’t add anything valuable to the argument. Many nations did various things in different shaped and forms. But it started with one people, more precisely, one couple. You do realize that taking God out of the marriage ecuation means going back to 50/50 and everyone thinking they are more important than the other and trying to get more out of the other. Who will be the great just counseler between the two and where will their continuous sacrificial love come from? After a couple of years the love passion flies away and then what? We cannot grow or manufacture love because we don’t have it. We can make and have good feelings, but love comes from He who declares is the author of love and the example of utmost sacrifice.

  • http://MaximizingMarriage.com/ Sebs | MaximizingMarriage.com

    Excellent list! May God help us! Sharing this on our Facebook page…

  • http://MaximizingMarriage.com/ Sebs | MaximizingMarriage.com

    Excellent list! May God help us! Sharing this on our Facebook page…

  • Sheriann Young Jalbert

    The Bible says ALL of these things about relationships throughout the entire book. It is all about love and relationship.

  • Sheriann Young Jalbert

    The Bible says ALL of these things about relationships throughout the entire book. It is all about love and relationship.

  • Ben Wade

    But Bible verse references would be nice.

  • Ben Wade

    But Bible verse references would be nice.

  • Eugene

    I can see wisdom in the student’s analysis of what the world says about marriage versus what the Bible says. Unfortunately, people who have not read the Bible and have not experienced Spiritual transformation which is only given by God are simply unable to discern and embrace many life giving truths. Spiritual truths are revealed to us by the Holy Spirit through God’s Word. People who are spiritually dead are in opposition to God and the Lord Jesus Christ, and it is only natural for them to lash out against those who suggest there is someone namely God who is wiser than them. As Christians we pray for those who are blind as we once were in hopes that someday they may see their need for and worship our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. John 3:16

  • Eugene

    I can see wisdom in the student’s analysis of what the world says about marriage versus what the Bible says. Unfortunately, people who have not read the Bible and have not experienced Spiritual transformation which is only given by God are simply unable to discern and embrace many life giving truths. Spiritual truths are revealed to us by the Holy Spirit through God’s Word. People who are spiritually dead are in opposition to God and the Lord Jesus Christ, and it is only natural for them to lash out against those who suggest there is someone namely God who is wiser than them. As Christians we pray for those who are blind as we once were in hopes that someday they may see their need for and worship our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. John 3:16

  • Malick Sere

    Lol, no. God didn’t create marriage. People were marrying far before that, in Ancient, Egypt, Mesopotamia and probably far before that as well. Thinking about it this way, where does god even fit in? God made Adam and Eve? If so , why is it that humans did not believe in this God in those times, and had different religions? Please explain, because it makes no sense to me.

  • Malick Sere

    Lol, no. God didn’t create marriage. People were marrying far before that, in Ancient, Egypt, Mesopotamia and probably far before that as well. Thinking about it this way, where does god even fit in? God made Adam and Eve? If so , why is it that humans did not believe in this God in those times, and had different religions? Please explain, because it makes no sense to me.

  • http://Www.recoveringwonanhood.weebly.com/ Hope Henchey

    This is so awesome!!!

  • http://Www.recoveringwonanhood.weebly.com/ Hope Henchey

    This is so awesome!!!

  • connollyseven

    Your phrase “throughout history” is key. Those gods belong within the timeline of human history because they are man-made. I was referring to the God who exists outside of time, who created us and not vice-versa. That’s the God who created marriage, right there in Genesis (notice, also predating all other human civilizations).

  • connollyseven

    Your phrase “throughout history” is key. Those gods belong within the timeline of human history because they are man-made. I was referring to the God who exists outside of time, who created us and not vice-versa. That’s the God who created marriage, right there in Genesis (notice, also predating all other human civilizations).

  • connollyseven

    Not sure I understand your meaning in “People were marrying far before that…” I was referring to the very beginning of human history, predating all those civilizations. You’re right in observing that it didn’t take long for people to fall away from God, and that’s the result of sin. We were created for perfect fellowship with our Maker, we chose otherwise, now we suffer the results of our choice. The multitude of religions only demonstrate our deep-seated need to reconnect with the Divine, which of course we want to do in the way that suits us best. However, since we can’t accomplish this in our own power (because sin is the chasm that separates us from God, and we can’t bridge it ourselves), God made a way for us through Jesus Christ. As for the fact that people have been marrying, man to woman, pretty much across the board regardless of religion, that’s just a sign that we had an original design and when it’s not suppressed, a universal morality will be expressed in our customs and laws.

  • connollyseven

    Not sure I understand your meaning in “People were marrying far before that…” I was referring to the very beginning of human history, predating all those civilizations. You’re right in observing that it didn’t take long for people to fall away from God, and that’s the result of sin. We were created for perfect fellowship with our Maker, we chose otherwise, now we suffer the results of our choice. The multitude of religions only demonstrate our deep-seated need to reconnect with the Divine, which of course we want to do in the way that suits us best. However, since we can’t accomplish this in our own power (because sin is the chasm that separates us from God, and we can’t bridge it ourselves), God made a way for us through Jesus Christ. As for the fact that people have been marrying, man to woman, pretty much across the board regardless of religion, that’s just a sign that we had an original design and when it’s not suppressed, a universal morality will be expressed in our customs and laws.

  • Jackson Cobb

    Well, if you don’t mind, to save time I will finish this conversation myself.

    Ok, so now I will say. “why *that* god?”

    You say: “Because the Bible says so”

    I say: “Why do you believe what the Bible says?”

    You say: “Because it’s the word of god.”

    and so on…The circular reasoning train goes ’round and ’round….

    The fact is that the you are a Christian is because of circumstance…When and where you were born and nothing more.

  • F Welch

    Under the table there’s a link that says read more…if you click on that, he gives some references.

  • Wren

    This is nothing personal but this table of yours is so cliche…I groaned so loudly at your comparison of marriage in the world vs. Christian marriage that my husband came over to see and shook his head and groaned too.
    We are passionate atheists and do not function in any of the negative ways you mentioned and neither do any of my non believing friends. This is just christian rhetoric like we heard in Sunday school, not anything based on observation. There are couples of every faith, agnostic couples, atheist couples that need to learn how to function in a relationship, yes but that is about personal issues, not the lack of some deity.
    Divorce is actually quite a bit less among atheists. That in itself renders your table null and void. If your table were completely correct, divorce among atheist would be higher.
    http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamiliesmarriage/a/AtheistsDivorce.htm

    We don’t need any deity teaching us to treat each other with kindness, deep compassion, to forgive each other and live in an unselfish manner for each other. We do not believe it is all about a feeling, or that it is 50/50, or that we should simply love until it hurts and then give up.
    We have gone through astoundingly difficult circumstances and have only grown closer and more tender with each other.
    Actually, we don’t argue, we discuss. That’s just not our style. We don’t assign blame….I could go on. We teach our children to live like this too and they are deeply compassionate, caring kids who bring us such joy every day.
    Also, the Bible almost nothing about marriage except to ban divorce. I don’t know of many Christians following that. Like all other Bible verses, they feel free to pick and choose.
    The deity of the Bible is nothing more than an angry desert god who tells the Israelites not to murder and then orders women who are not virgins on their wedding night to be stoned. (Do you have any idea how horrible a death it is to be stoned? Google it.)
    He orders a woman who has been raped to marry her rapist. He never speaks against slavery, in fact, he tells slaves to obey their master’s orders.
    The deity of the Bible is a nasty, petulant, childish angry brute who is full of anything but love.
    If the Bible is to be believed, your deity is responsible for the death of over two and a half million people. *This is not someone I would ever take marriage advice from, even if he did exist. *Period.*

  • Elle Williams

    Atheists or anti-theists? There is a difference.

  • Sterling

    Yeah, grounding the ones on the right side with actual Bible references would be nice. You won’t be able to ground about half of those to anything direct, though. How about an article on biblical Sacrificial Love and Respect as found in the roles provided in Ephesians 5, or perhaps Christ being the head of man, and man being the head of the wife from the same chapter instead?

  • Victoria

    The thing is… i believe in evolution. I think the bible is a book of
    metaphors.. as i said, a book of moral codes, a way to teach equity,
    citizenship and educate people when there wasn’t any explanation of the
    world, and that is ok back then, but believing in the bible NOW for me
    is like believing in a bunch of fairy tales. I am not quite atheist, i
    was raised in a catholic school and a catholic family, but being a good
    partner in a marriage doesn’t have anything to do with the bible, but
    with yourself… the estime you have for your beloved husband/wife and
    the good you want to do for your marriage. I’ve seen many terrible
    husbands who are absolutely absent in the education of their children,
    even in the way they treat their wife publicly…. but every sunday
    they’re at church.

    About that 50/50, i agree is not like that at
    all… it should be 100/100, we are not supposed to expect other person
    to complete us, but to be a full and complete woman/man by yourself…
    deciding to walk your path with other full human being. I also don’t
    believe in sacrifice, we shouldn’t be sacrificing anything in the name
    of anyone or even love, i think communication is the key for a great
    marriage, in other words: deal with your own problems and talk to your
    partner about what’s bothering you, your needs, expectations and fears.

    Yet
    again, i think religion is for people that can’t realize how to do
    right by themselves. There is a lot of information about relationships
    in psychology, anthropology, etc. You should read some books when you’re
    done with your passages of the day.

  • Sam

    Right, that’s all you and your lot resort to usually, snarky remarks. It’s almost pointless reading about relationships in psychology because not many so call doctors or specialists even agree on their own secular views with respect to the subject. I studied one book about marriage and with two buddies of mine and we couldn’t finish it. The author was going round and round with no real solution to any issue or problem. The main line was: “we all have issues, give a little to receive a little, one must first love himself/herself..”, etc. So in general secular psychology is not of much use as it has the foundations in the wrong place and puts way too much emphasis on the matters of mind forgetting matters of heart. As I said before, we can’t manufacture true love because we are not the source of it. And sacrifice is the utmost example of that. You can’ say or ‘communicate’ love verbally all day long, but if there’s no action to follow or proof that, then it’s in vain. Communication is a very super important key in relationships. But at the end of the day, we can best friends in communication and not actually love each other more than we love a coke or ice tea or a burger. There are different aspects and levels of love, and the Bible speaks and gives examples of that very clearly. Long before we had physiologists or specialists in relationships writing about it. I chose to sacrifice certain things for my wife, because I want the best for her and while that might humble myself and others saying I’m weak, it’s because I don’t want to have a selfish, egotistical self-centered nature. And that’s what everyone else in the world manifests. Oh, I love you, what do I receive in exchange for this?

    When I tell my wife “I love you”, she doesn’t believe me because I say it or communicate it, she believes it because she sees, it’s palpable, it has tangible results.

    So you believe in evolution, which is pretty much the reason you don’t believe in sacrifice of love and unfortunately you will never experience the true meaning of love. It’s unfortunate that you believe in a theory that is lacking so much and even some scientists only claim to believe in it only to not have to acknowledge that there is a creator God. I’m sorry to hear you think the Bible is a book of metaphors when in fact it has written about many things that science has discovered only in recent decades or centuries. We read about how seasons work, the cycle of life, the wind and the rain, about the nature laws, planets and systems, and prophecies that have come to past and which have been recorded in history. Yet you still call that metaphors? You can read about various animals and their complex design in body and brain, or of that of humans, and try to calculate the probability of that happening from explosions and molecular evolution over millions and billions of years. I can tell you right now, some have tried, and the results are ludicrous. Or take a look at the laws of physics (along with their associated constants), they are fine-tuned in just the right way so that life, particularly human life, is possible. This fact is called the “anthropic principle.” Much can be said here, I’ll end with a quote from Dr. Jason Lisle, Ph.D. in astrophysics: “We have seen that the laws of nature depend on other laws of nature, which ultimately depend on God’s will. Thus, God created the laws of physics in just the right way so that the laws of chemistry would be correct, so that life can exist. It is doubtful that any human would have been able to solve such a complex puzzle. Yet, the Lord has done so. The atheist cannot account for these laws of nature (even though he agrees that they must exist), for such laws are inconsistent with naturalism. Yet, they are perfectly consistent with the Bible. We expect the universe to be organized in a logical, orderly fashion and to obey uniform laws because the universe was created by the power of God.”

    Now off to reading my passages of the day..

© Copyright 2014, All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy & Terms of Service | Contact Rick