Everyone serves in multiple roles, but all roles are not equal. I’m a child of God, husband to Lucia, father to our children, and friend of many people. I prioritize each role in the order of importance.
For example, the requests of my friends are not more important than my role as a child of God, husband to Lucia, or father to our children. Prioritizing my roles helps especially when there is a potential conflict between any two of them.
Lucia has many roles too. For example, she is a wife and a mother, in that order. She was a wife before she was a mother and, Lord willing, she will continue to be a wife long after our children establish their unique, autonomous, domestic empires. Though she will always be a mother, her role as a mother will diminish and change as our children grow up and build their lives in God’s world.
- The husband and wife relationship was the first human community ever formed. (Genesis 2:18)
- The husband and wife relationship is a picture of Jesus Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:32)
- The husband and wife relationship is not two people, but one flesh. (Ephesians 5:29)
- Children are encouraged to leave their parents to form their families while the husband and the wife are exhorted to stay together until death. (Genesis 2:24-25; Ephesians 5:31)
Helpful Marriage Advice
It is important for our children to know the difference between a wife and mother. An illustration of this is when our children sin against Lucia. We have taught them that when they sin against their mother, they are sinning against my wife. And to sin against my wife is to sin against me because Lucia and I are one flesh.
We want them to understand the sequence and severity of their sin against their mother. She is more than a mother; she is my wife, and we are one flesh. And because she is “more than a mother,” there is a call on me to take care of her. Here are a few questions that help me self-assess my care for Lucia.
- How are you doing at protecting your wife?
- Do you allow your children to keep on sinning against you by sinning against your wife?
- Does your wife regularly experience your elevated level of protection and care?
- Do you see your wife more as a mother or as a wife? Listen to what Peter said in his first letter,
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7
Peter changes the playing field when he says that how you live with your wife determines how you will relate to God. If you want an unimpeded relationship with God, it’s imperative to live well with your wife. If you devalue your wife, you will experience the Lord’s repercussions.
She Is A Stradivarius
Wikipedia described a Stradivarius violin this way,
A Stradivarius is a violin or other stringed instrument built by a member of the Stradivari family, particularly Antonio Stradivari. According to their reputation, the quality of their sound has defied attempts to explain or reproduce. The name “Stradivarius” has also become a superlative applied to designate excellence. To be called “the Stradivari” of any field is to be deemed the finest there is.
Call to Action
Take the Stradivarius definition and paraphrase it for a wife.
A wife is built and called by God. According to the Lord’s reputation, the quality of her role and who He joins her to has defied attempts to explain or reproduce. The name “Wife” has become a superlative applied to designate excellence. To be called “a wife” is to be deemed the finest there is.
- Husband, do you see your wife as your most cherished possession, outside of Christ?
- Ask her today to share with you how she experiences your affection of her.
- If your children are old enough, ask them their interpretation of 1 Peter 3:7 as it pertains to your marriage.
Also published on Medium.