48 Case Studies 10: An Anxious Need to Be Right

Photo: ©Aris Leoven from capturenow via Canva.com

Mable is a perfectionist driven by an anxious need to be right. She holds herself and others to impossible standards, striving to present a carefully edited image she believes will earn acceptance, significance, and admiration. Mable’s fear of being wrong fuels a pattern of self-righteous criticism, blame-shifting, and rationalization. These behaviors help her deflect attention from her shortcomings and maintain control over how others perceive her.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

In social situations, Mable tends to stay quiet unless she is confident she can meet her self-imposed expectations, which limits her ability to connect meaningfully with others. Her controlling tendencies, combined with a self-righteous fear of being wrong, make it difficult for her to engage in constructive dialogue. Consequently, she has only a few close friends and struggles in her relationships.

Mable’s craving for control has created significant strain in her marriage. Feeling overwhelmed and isolated, her husband struggles to communicate with her and often avoids confrontation to maintain peace. He is desperate for guidance on how to support Mable while navigating his own frustrations and spiritual exhaustion. Understanding her need for approval and fear of failure is key to helping her recognize her patterns and pursue transformation.

Case Study Questions

1. What would you tell Mable’s husband initially?
2. What would be your plan to walk him through what he needs to do to help Mable?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).