Breaking down my heart when it’s breaking bad
Walter White is representative of humankind. He was the discontented chemistry teacher who was given a death sentence. Assuming he had only a few months to live because of lung cancer, he removed all the stops to his conscience by choosing to live life according to his heart rather than familial, cultural, or supposed moral expectations.
Walter White is a case study of human depravity unleashed. Though a death sentence was given to him, it was all the people who came in contact with him who died.
Approximately 200 people were murdered, whether by his hand or through the implications of his actions, e.g., the midair plane collision. Those who survived Walter White died through the incurred losses in their souls.
The thing which intrigues me about Walter White is how I see myself in this man. I’m a walking dichotomy between right and wrong, that which is moral and that which is immoral.
Sometimes I want to tell some people off. Then my Spirit-illuminated mind and biblically informed conscience kicks in and I refrain. Other times I don’t refrain. I give in to my true self–the real me which is hidden from you, but unmasked to my heart.
I have an expectation of how life should be and it is hard to subject what I want, need, crave, or lust after to the cross of Christ. At times what I want and what God calls me to are at odds. Walter White chose not to give honor to God or submit to His authority.
He threw all caution to the wind by choosing to live on this terrestrial ball according to the dictates of his heart. Though he’s a fictional character, his life is an appealing case study about me. And you. Walter White is the fictional mirror of our non-fictional lives.
- Part of me hates him because he was ruthless (Romans 12:9).
- Part of me pities him because he was caught in sin (Galatians 6:1-2).
- Part of me is afraid of him because I could do what he did (Psalm 37:13).
- Part of me wants to be him because he fully indulged his flesh (Ecclesiastes 1:8).
Flashes of Walter White
When I become angry at my wife or children, I’m indulging my flesh. I’m refusing to submit whatever it is I’m thinking in the moment to